Only YOU can prevent forest fires!

[author's note: thinking of post titles is my favorite part of blogging]

I have been so saddened today with the failure to pass SB5, which would ban abortions in Texas after 20 weeks gestation. Lately I have become more and more aware of the issue of abortion and what it means scientifically, emotionally, physically, and spiritually, both for individuals and for the nation. I have learned so much. And I have done nothing. I pray sometimes. Once a month or so. And I get sad about it every few weeks. I think more so since my miscarriage. But I haven't done anything. I don't think you can tell someone to go and stop sinning without introducing them to Jesus, so I need to call a pregnancy center and ask if I can help. I'm not sure if I can volunteer with Abigail in tow, but I won't know unless I call and ask. I can definitely pray faithfully though. There's a lot that can be changed in prayer. Internet, you can be my accountability partner. I need to call a local pregnancy center this week and ask if I can help. Please ask me if I did it.

Tuesday Quickie

I'm knee-deep in tax homework, so this will be short, but I wanted to give an update after my last post. After talking to some smart ladies and the internet, I found an herb that I can only describe as magic. It's called Vitex, although it's also known as Chasteberry. It's an herb to help balance estrogen and progesterone, ie the crazy hormones. It cleared up all the physical issues I was having after only two doses and the emotional issues seem clear too. I at least feel like I'm at a much more peaceful state of mind. So thank you for your prayers, and thanks to an incredibly creative God that made plants that fix all manner of problems.

Hell Hath No Fury

Hey Everyone. Today's lesson is about hormones. It's a short lesson, so listen up! Hormones do not pop back to normal after a miscarriage. You might think they would, but they don't. Actually, you might think they wouldn't. Apparently when the body goes through all the changes that come when you're pregnant, then something goes horribly wrong, and the body goes through all the changes of ending that pregnancy abruptly, it can take time for everything to get back to normal. It makes sense that this process would take time and have some bumps in the road, but the human body is normally so incredibly efficient that it's always a surprise when it doesn't all go smoothly. I am not going to go into more details here, but suffice it to say that we all know how much fun it is to be/be around a woman whose hormones are out of whack. Basically, we're all learning to pray for patience and grace in the Nipp household these days. Well, except for Abigail. She's just mad we won't keep our shoes on. She keeps bringing them to us when we take them off and cries if we won't put them back on. Strange kid.

Here's hoping that some balance comes back soon.

Milestones

A life with a baby is a life of celebrating new milestones. Yesterday we had another one - throwing a temper tantrum. I didn't even know she was old enough to have one (she's 14 months). Abigail now has definite opinions about what activities she would like to do. Her most common one is to go outside for a walk. Normally we try to take her, but yesterday she wanted to go right as I finished cooking dinner. I told her "Not now, but after dinner" at which point she lay down on the floor in front of the door and wailed. I'm sure it will be frustrating later, but as her first-ever temper tantrum, it was hilarious! My little baby is growing up, and I am so proud. After an uneventful dinner we went on a family walk, and it was lovely. Abigail's next activity of choice? Bath time. That girl has good taste.

In other news, I happened upon the website for an organic, grass-fed, free-range, happy happy animal CSA. The prices are really cheap and they deliver! I think I've found my new best friends! The website is jolievuefarms.com if you are interested in checking them out. I'll get my first order in on Sunday, so I'll try to let you know how it goes. I have very high hopes for eating organic, grass-fed steak next week.

Personality Plus

Becoming a parent is a crash course in learning to put another person's needs ahead of your own. A very small, loud person, but a person. Something has changed though. This small loud person suddenly has wants, and not just needs. She wants to climb on top of the lady's desk at the bank. She wants to yank every skein of yarn off the shelf at Michael's. Not all of the wants are automatic yeses or nos though. Michael's is right beside Barnes & Noble, which Abigail loves thanks to all the toys on bottom shelves. I didn't need to go to B&N, but we did since we had spent the rest of the morning running errands for my wants and needs. Abigail was very appreciative, until it was time to go. I know we can't do everything she wants, but it is so gratifying to make that little girl happy. Especially since one of her most frequent wants is for us all to shake our heads no as a family. You have never seen a smile so big as when that happens! At least we're a ways off from her most frequent want being not wanting to be seen in public with her dorky parents.

And then I'm back! From outer space!

I can't remember what movie the song that contributed to the title of this post is from. If you remember, you get bonus points! Which are worth ... not much. Anyway, sorry for the long break. I was in school and working on homework most days at work. I'm fixing to start summer classes, so I may disappear again, but I'll try to do better.

I know there are seasons in life where God focuses you in on certain spiritual themes. For a while, every sermon, radio show, or scripture I read was about honoring God in your marriage. I've been through seasons where it was all about knowing how much God loves me. But lately I feel like the heart of my focus has been on Israel and it's role in the Middle East. I'm not going to pretend to be on my way to be an expert, but it seems like I keep stumbling on information, and not from the news on tv.

Nathan gave me a book to read called Destiny Disrupted by Tamim Ansary, which is about the history of Islam in the Middle East. It started with Mohammed and continued on through 2001. It didn't lay blame on anyone or excuse anyone, but instead attempted to present history through the view of a Muslim in the Middle East. It was really fascinating. I knew next to nothing about the Middle East, Muslim or not, and the author did an amazing job of not sounding like a complex encyclopedia.

The next book I picked up was Israel, my Beloved by Kay Arthur. It was a completely random choice, as I was working through a stack of books in my closet and this one was next in line. I also did not know what it was about, except of course Israel. It's actually a history of the world through the eyes of a group of Jewish people, told in a narrative form. It was the perfect book to follow Destiny, since the information was all fresh. It was two sides of the same story one after the other.

I have no grand thesis to share with you right now. I'm still learning and don't have my thoughts organized enough to present anything like a coherent argument, except to say that Satan doesn't want any of God's children to prosper in any way, and especially not God's chosen people. And Satan uses willing people to do evil things every day, whether they know they are being used or not. It's a very complex issue though and smarter people than I have not been able to find a solution. It's interesting though, and nice to feel like I'm getting a grasp of what's going on behind the 5-minute snippets on the nightly news.

Now I have to go play in a bouncy castle with Abigail, so that's all for today. I know, life is hard right?

King David

Amazingly enough, I am still sticking with reading through the Bible in 90 days. Today's reading started with the last words of King David. Now, reading through David's life in big chunks struck me a lot differently than reading in little bits has. David did some awesome things, but he did some terrible things too. He murdered a man, committed adultery. He was a really crappy dad. And he spent most of his recorded life hiding in caves, being deceitful to others in order to avoid capture, and running. This is not a very impressive life. But like David said,

If my house were not right with God,
    surely he would not have made with me an everlasting covenant,
    arranged and secured in every part;
surely he would not bring to fruition my salvation
    and grant me my every desire.
                                    -2 Samuel 23:5

I'm trying to reflect on what was good in his life. What I see is a man who knew God was in charge and would win. He didn't necessarily think God was going to always give him his way, but he always knew God would get his way. He was moved to action by this (David vs. Goliath), but he was also moved to wait by this (see how often he didn't kill Saul, because he was God's anointed?). The world tells us a lot that what we want matters most. I strut around thinking that what I want and how I think things should happen matters so much. But I doubt God agrees. It's his glory that matters; luckily, if we are seeking that, our happiness is often a by-product. But it's never a guarantee. It's also good to remember that a not impressive life can also be incredibly pleasing to God.